Le Petit Prince © Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Hetalia: Axis Powers © Hidekaz Himaruya
*NOTE: some of the countries speak in their own languages in this story.*
"Mama, I can't sleep," Sealand whined to a very tired Finland. The older nation just rubbed his temples. It had been a long day, and he didn't appreciate the young micronation calling him "Mama." He was a man, after all. But Finland just gave an exhausted smile and asked "What seems to be troubling you?"
Sealand gave an irritated look. "I don't know; I just can't fall asleep." He pouted his lip and fidgeted his feet underneath the covers.
Finland sighed. "Well, then, how about I read you a story?" The boy was silent, but nodded his head. Finland gave a small chuckle and hovered sleepily over to the bookshelf. He picked out a thin volume and showed the cover to Sealand. It read The Little Prince. It was a favorite that Finland knew well; and, each time he read it, he was somewhat surprised that something so innocent could come from France
"But I already know that story!" The world's smallest nation was cranky, and Finland put the book back on the shelf.
"How about I tell a different version?" the Nordic smiled warmly. Sealand gave him a perplexed look, but then answered with a barely-audible "Alright
Finland sat down on the foot of Sealand's bed and began the story:
* * *
There once was a young nation named England. It had always been a dream of his to become a chef. He would spend hours on end in the kitchen each day, trying desperately to create a masterpiece. One day, England baked a batch of cupcakes and went to show his king, Henry VIII. However, upon looking at England's concoction, ol' Henry boldly spake "What the hell are you doing baking muffins at a time like this!? I'm in the middle of feuding with the Pope!"
"But," England said meekly, "These are cupcakes!" Henry then went on to tell the nation that his time shouldn't be spent baking. Instead, England was told that he should spend his time learning about Enlightenment principles, imperialism, and industrialization.
Thus, England grew up without learning how to cook. He did just as Henry VIII told him and grew to be a strong empire.
It was on one particular occasion, while trying to imperialize a section of the African continent, when England found himself stranded in the Sahara Desert. He felt more isolated than Japan during the Edo period. So, you can imagine his surprise when he was awakened at daybreak by a funny little voice saying, "Hey, you! Recognize me as a legitimate country!"
England stared at the tiny principality standing in front of him.
Sealand!? What the bloody hell are you doing in the middle of the Sahara?"
The micronation frowned, and then boldly straightened his posture. "I've come here to make everyone know just who the Principality of Sealand is!"
Wouldn't you rather I just draw you a sheep--"
"Sealand does not need sheep!" he cut England off. The older nation glowered, obviously irritated. Whoever imagined him into this children's bedtime story from hell was going to pay.
"Besides," continued Sealand, "There are no grasses that grow where I come from! The sheep would not be able to eat!"
England sighed and inevitably asked the question, "Well, where do you come from?"
Sealand put his hands on his hips and loudly proclaimed, "I hail from the tiniest asteroid, B-612, otherwise known as Roughs Towers."
" England said with a confused look on his face. "Don't you live next door?"
"T-that doesn't matter! This is a bedtime story! I can live wherever I want!"
England, utterly frustrated, muttered, "Who the hell wrote this story?"
"Okay!" shouted Sealand, "I will now tell you of my grand adventure that has spanned multiple worlds!"
England protested, "But I don't need to hear--"
"You will hear of my tale, Jerk-England!" Sealand once again cut his older brother off.
Thus began the story of Sealand's adventure:
The young micronation hailed from the smallest planet in the galaxy. He lived there alone, with his prince's helicopter and a small metal crane with which to haul things up. There was also a flag stuck proudly into the ground.
One day, Sealand noticed a small plant poking its bud out of the soil. The flower bloomed into a beautiful crimson rose.
"Bonjour, petit garçon," said the rose seductively, "Je m'appelle France."
"AAAGH! A WEED!" Sealand abruptly got prepared with his shovel to remove the rose but stopped once the supposed weed yelled:
"Zut alors! Put that thing away!"
Sealand stared innocently at the flower and blinked his eyes. "So, does that mean you're not a weed?"
France sighed. "Non. Je suis une fleur. And not just any flower; I am a magnificent rose!"
"Oh. Okay, then." Sealand put his shovel away and knelt beside the rose. "So, what brings you to this tiny planet?"
France shrugged his stem and motioned his leaves. "Actually," he explained in a sexy tone of voice, "I was looking for la très belle Seychelles--"
"Never heard of her."
France didn't appreciate being cut off by the young nation. "Er
She's off the eastern coast of Africa." He was not impressed by the blank look that Sealand was giving him. Honestly, that boy needed to learn geography!
France sighed once again, getting more irritated by the minute. "As I was saying
I was heading toward Seychelles' planet when an unexpected wind blew me to your planet."
"Oh, I see," said Sealand, not actually getting all of what the talking plant was saying. After about ---
* * *
"Wait wait wait!" Sealand sat upright in bed. Finland stopped telling the story for the time being. "How the heck does a random French rose seed get carried through the depths of outer space while trying to visit some Caribbean nation?"
"Ah, Sealand; Seychelles isn't located in the Caribbean." Finland smiled weakly. His eyelids were beginning to get heavy with overtiredness. "Need I remind you? This is just a story, a fantasy where anything can happen. It's just make-believe."
"Hmph. I say, ol' chap!" A voice traveled in from the open window. "Honestly, Finland; my cooking isn't that horrible!"
"AAAAAAUGHH! It's Jerk-England!" Sealand yelled. "What are you doing in my bedroom!?"
"Oh ho ho~!" laughed a familiar Frenchman, also coming from the window. "More like, what aren't you doing in mine?"
Finland silently winced.
England spoke up: "You're scaring the children, France! You wine-drinking bastard!"
"Au contraire, bushy-brow; I do believe it was your name that Sealand yelled, non?"
"Pysäkki! Please, no fighting!" Finland spoke up. He then added, quietly, "All this yelling will wake Su-san up." Finland did not want to confront the tall Scandinavian man with the cold eyes at this time of night. But, Finland knew that Sweden would probably just say something in his incomprehensible drawl and walk away.
"Ah! Your husband?" France inquired.
Finland sighed, flushing furiously. He then cleared his throat. "Alright, you two may listen to the story as you please. Just no more interruptions! Okay?" France and England nodded slightly. Sealand finally stopped glaring at his older brother. And, finally, Finland continued the story:
* * *
After about a month of living with his new botanical friend, Sealand got fed up with France and his perverted tendencies, not to mention the fact that, every day, he would demand expensive wine and champagne. France would also complain about Sealand's cooking being "just like your good-for-nothing punk of a brother!"
Thus, Sealand decided to leave his tiny planet. His journey was also to let all others know about the (self-proclaimed) greatest nation ever.
"You're leaving?" France inquired.
"Do you no longer love me?"
I've never loved you, perverted flower."
"I need to put up with two or three caterpillars if I want to get to know the butterflies," France cried dramatically. "Apparently, they're very beautiful--"
"What the heck are you talking about?"
France froze. "Oh, sorry. I was just quoting the book."
And so, Sealand finally departed from his planet, leaving France all by himself. In truth he didn't really feel sorry for the solitary rose.
The first planet that the micronation arrived on was inhabited by a king named America.
"Hello," said Sealand, standing in front of the taller man, who was currently eating a hamburger.
"munch munch Hello there! munch What brings you here? munch"
"I am the great Principality of Sealand, and I've come to let the universe know of me!"
America then began slurping a milkshake. "slurp Alright! slurp slurp sluuuuuuurp! Nice ta meet'cha!" He held out his arm and grasped Sealand's small palm in a hearty handshake.
"Wow, you're strong!" The small nation marveled at the king's strength.
"Thanks!" The bespectacled man beamed a white-toothed smile on his proud face. "It's because I eat a lot of hamburgers."
"But isn't fast-food unhealthy? It makes you fat rather than strong," Sealand innocently pointed out.
"N-nonsense!" America nervously shouted. "It's perfectly fine in moderation!"
"But you eat it every day--"
"HERE!" America suddenly shoved a cup into Sealand's hands. "Have some Pepsi!" Sealand merely shrugged his shoulders and sipped the soft drink. He politely thanked the older nation and resumed his journey.
The second planet belonged to a vain man named Prussia.
"Aren't I awesome!?" said Prussia.
I guess so."
"What do you mean you guess so?" The ex-nation complained angrily. "I am the most awesome country ever! Agree with me, or I shall occupy your vital regions!"
"Alright, alright. You're awesome," Sealand said a bit sarcastically. Prussia beamed, and Sealand rolled his eyes. He then got prepared to leave.
And Sealand was departing, he yelled, "By the way, I like the little bird on your head. It's cute!"
Prussia stared blankly. "
.There's a bird on my head!? Mein Gott!"
When Sealand arrived on the third planet, it appeared to be uninhabited. "Hello?" he called, but no one answered. Thus, he decided to leave and continue his journey.
A few feet from where Sealand was previously standing on the small planet, a furry white polar bear asked, "Who are you?"
The man holding him replied, "I'm Canada."
The fourth planet was inhabited by two men: one was busily scribbling something on multiple sheets of paper and looking very annoyed, and the other was playfully poking his companion in the arm while having a mostly one-sided conversation. Sealand observed them:
"Ve~! Germany, come play with me!" the short brunette said. "Let's make some pasta. Pasta makes everyone happy~!"
"Please, be quiet, Italy," the muscular blond seethed, leaning on some of the papers scattered across the desk. "Can't you see that I'm busy?"
"But Germany," Italy whined, "You're always busy."
Germany sighed angrily. "Well, someone has to do the work around here. How do you expect to win the war if you don't pull your weight?" For once, Italy was silent as he stared at his friend's hand, which was still writing furiously.
"Ex-excuse me!" Sealand hollered to the two older nations.
Italy looked up right away with a smile on his face. "Ciao, ragazzetto~!"
Germany raised his head more reluctantly.
Sealand cleared his throat. "Greetings, fellow nations! I've come to make you recognize me as a legitimate country!"
Germany stared. "Alright, then." He looked a bit confused and a bit peeved that someone other that Italy had disrupted his work. Although he frequently complained, Germany somehow enjoyed the little Italian's company.
Italy, meanwhile, was busy offering Sealand some pasta. "So, you come from far away, huh?" he asked cheerfully. "You must be hungry; have some pasta!"
Sealand shook his head. "It's alright; I'm not that hungry. Besides, I have places to go." So, the little nation bid farewell to both Germany and Italy.
After he had left their planet, however, he remembered something:
"Aw crap! I forgot to tell them my name! They recognize me, but they don't know who I am!"
The fifth planet was inhabited by a man named Switzerland.
Sealand landed on the planet. "Hello there! I'm--"
Switzerland held up his rifle so that Sealand was staring down its barrel. "You have carelessly stepped foot onto Swiss territory. Leave immediately, or you will be shot."
As Sealand left the planet, he noted, "The neutral ones are always the scariest."
The sixth planet belonged to a frugal aristocrat named Austria. As Sealand landed on the planet, the Austrian paid him no attention. Instead, he was too busy playing a beautiful song on a grand piano that was so black and shiny that it reflected the stars. Instead of breaking the man's concentration, Sealand listened silently and obediently. Once Austria was done with the piece, Sealand spoke up:
"That was amazing! Was that a Bon Jovi song?"
Austria stared at the micronation, unamused. "
"Oh." Sealand looked down at his feet and then back to Austria's face. "Oh yeah; I've come here to make you recognize me as a legitimate country! Oh, and my name is Sealand, the Great Principality of Sealand!"
Austria still looked unimpressed. "I have no time to spend on adventurous young nations. I am a very busy man. You see, I am trying to compose a song for someone special."
"So, who is it, an ex-girlfriend, or something?" Sealand asked innocently yet rudely.
Austria's face turned a bright red. "Hungary isn't just an ordinary woman! She's--" He cut himself off before the look on Sealand's face could get any more immature.
The micronation snickered. "Alright, have it your way." He then left Austria's planet to leave him to his "work."
The seventh planet ---
* * *
"Hey, what gives, Finland?" Prussia complained. His voice traveled in from the open window. "How come I only got like two lines!? I'm so awesome that I should get at least ten no, twenty lines! In fact, I should get a whole novel!"
Finland gave him an ailing fake smile. "Why, hello, Prussia. What brings you here?" said Finland, trying to be polite despite the lack of decency that Prussia was showing him.
Prussia climbed in through the window and landed abruptly on the wooden flooring of Sealand's bedroom. "I always like to hear stories of the awesome me!" Finland didn't mention that his was only a bedtime story.
"Prussia, you wanker!" England loudly complained, "You're ruining the story!"
"For once, I agree with Angleterre," France stated. "I would like Finland to get to the part with the fox. It is, after all, my favorite part."
"Wait, what fox?" England inquired.
"I've obviously read Le Petit Prince before. It's a classic at my house." France grinned smugly.
"Yeah, I read it, too!" America then popped up at the window next to England and France. "Of course, I only read the first few chapters. But what I did read was great!"
"What the bloody hell are you doing here?" England asked.
"Well," America looked up at him innocently, "I couldn't sleep, so I was wondering if you could read me a bedtime story like you used to."
"You git!" England responded loudly, "That was when you were little! You're not a colony anymore, America; you're an independent country. You're too old for bedtime stories."
"But, England," America inquired, "Aren't you listening to a bedtime story right now? And you're an old fogey!"
France and Prussia could both be heard snickering.
"Uh, excuse me!" Finland interrupted meekly. "If you want me to continue the story, you all have to quiet down. Got it?" Everyone nodded. Once again, Finland continued the story before anyone else could come in through the window.
* * *
The seventh planet, then, was the Earth. Compared to Sealand's experiences on the many other planets, the Earth was very large and vast. There were too many countries and languages on this planet to keep track of!
The first person that Sealand met was a snake named Russia.
"Hello, young one," the Soviet grinned widely. "What brings you to the desert?"
" Sealand seemed at a loss for words. Although the tall man was smiling innocently, the little nation couldn't help but sense a hostile aura emanating from him. "I
" His eyes shifted nervously back and forth. "I've come to let everyone know who I am
Russia's smile widened. "And who are you?"
Sealand didn't know if he should give out his name to such a suspicious stranger. But he's smiling, he thought, He can't be so bad. "I'm Sealand!" he proclaimed.
"Nice to meet you, Sealand," Russia said, sounding like a child. He placed his palm atop the micronation's head and lightly ruffled his blond hair. At the feeling of his touch, Sealand jumped slightly.
"Say, Sealand," Russia's eyes opened wide, and his large smile seemed to change somehow. "You'll become one with Russia, dа?"
Sealand didn't answer because he was too busy running away from either the rusty faucet pipe in Russia's other hand, or from the man himself.
After walking for some time, the little nation came across a blossoming rose garden.
After gazing at the brightly-colored flowers for a bit, Sealand remembered the perverted French rose back on his tiny planet. Therefore, he decided to walk away before any of the blossoms could have the chance to scar him for life.
Just as he turned his back, he heard a soft voice say, "Ah! Sumimasen!" Sealand turned around, but could see no one but the roses.
"Who said that?" he inquired.
"It was I," said a vivid red rose. "Konichiwa. Watashi no namae wa Nihon des."
"Oh, hello there!" said Sealand. "I'm sorry; I didn't know that you were one of those talking roses." He laughed bluntly.
"I see," Japan muttered quietly. "I must apologize, as well, for not speaking to you right away. I'm still a bit shy."
"No big deal," Sealand spoke frankly. "Oh! By the way, my name is Sealand, and I'm traveling around to let the world know who I am, and let other nations recognize me!"
"Hajimemashite, Sealand-kun," the Japanese rose smiled slightly. "I guess I'll recognize you as a legitimate nation. I don't see why not."
Sealand's face seemed to light up. "Thank you!"
Just then, a seemingly angry man named China came out of the house that was the backdrop to the rose garden. "Aiyaah-! What are you doing in my rose garden, aru!?"
It was then that Sealand decided to flee. He sighed. Just as soon as I get someone to recognize me, I get chased away by an angry man wielding a wok, thought Sealand as he ran towards a meadow.
As the little nation sat amongst the tall grasses, he couldn't help but notice someone else moving between the stalks.
"Hey, who's there?" he called out.
There was no response.
"Hello?" He stood up. "I know you're hiding."
Still no response.
"If you don't come out now, I shall send forth the mighty armed forces of the Principality of Sealand and claim your capital city!" Obviously, Sealand was joking. After all, he only had about five citizens.
"N-N-NOOOO! D-don't do t-that! Please don't conquer Riga!" Suddenly, a small fox by the name of Latvia popped up from his hiding place amongst the grass. The Baltic country didn't catch the lighthearted lie in Sealand's voice.
"Relax, will ya?" Sealand said, trying to calm the shaky nation down.
" he seemed to be asking a question with his eyes. When Sealand didn't catch on, Latvia nervously asked, "Um, who are you, again? Y-you said the Principality of
something or other
Sealand cleared his throat and stood erect. "I am the great Principality of Sealand, and I am traveling to let the other nations of the world know of me and recognize me as a legitimate country!" He took a deep breath after saying such a mouthful.
"Oh," said the Latvian. "Sveiki. Mani sauc Latvija."
"So, Latvia," said Sealand, "You'll recognize me, right?"
"Um, not yet," Latvia seemed deep in thought, "Have you ever heard of the term 'creating ties'?"
Sealand blinked. "No, not really."
"Oh, it's simple, really. Uh
how should I explain this?..." The Baltic fidgeted. Seland noticed that he never actually stopped shaking. "Well, right now, you're only a little nation, just like a hundred or so other nations. And I have no need of you. And you have no need of me, either. For you, I'm only just another little nation, just like all the rest." Latvia paused and looked at the micronation. "But if we create ties make a special alliance, that is we'll need each other, and you'll be unique to me in all the world."
"Hmm," said Sealand, thinking hard on the subject. "I think I'm beginning to understand." He took a step toward Latvia, but the other country just backed away tentatively. "So, let's make an alliance, then!"
"It's n-n-not that simple," explained Latvia. "I guess the best way to describe it is that we have to 'tame' each other; then, we'll develop a special bond a mutual friendship." Sealand opened his mouth to ask another question, but Latvia continued, already knowing what the little nation would ask. "Something like that takes time. You can't form a friendship just like that; you need to work at it. Each day you'll come visit me, and each day we'll become closer and closer."
Sealand nodded. "I get what you're saying, but wouldn't it be easier just to force something on another? All the bigger nations do it!"
Latvia gently furrowed his brow. "Yes, it's true that the bigger and stronger countries tend to bully the weaker ones, and also tend to force things. But that doesn't make it right! In my opinion, countries should be free and respect everyone else in this world. Wars are scary things, so it's b-best to avoid them. I
it's b-b-best to avoid such conflict, so
" Latvia began to shake a bit more than usual, and his eyes started to tear up. "T-that's w-w-why, it's best to c-cooperate
"Don't cry! Hey!" Sealand sympathetically patted the slightly taller nation on the shoulder. "If you're talking about important stuff, you can't just cut off like that!"
" said Latvia between light sobs. Remembering specific past events always brought some tears.
"Okay!" declared Sealand. "I'll tame you! Then, you'll recognize me, right?"
"Alright," Latvia agreed.
That was how the little nation tamed the fox. Each day, Sealand would visit Latvia, and each day their friendship grew. Eventually, they signed an alliance, and they became best friends. And when the time to ---
* * *
"Uwaaaaah~!" cried a voice from somewhere in the room. Finland paused his story-telling and turned around to find Italy with a few tears in his eyes. The short Italian continued, "That is so touching!" He then blew his nose on the sleeve of the irritated German standing next to him. "Bravo, Finland! Bravo!"
Finland was about to ask Italy and Germany how they had gotten into the room in the first place when he spotted a few other countries in Sealand's bedroom, as well. In fact, there were many other countries now.
"How did you all get in here!?" Finland shouted, but his voice was ignored by the chatting of other nations:
"How come I only got one line, aru?"
"Bedtime stories originated in Korea! Uri nara Mansae!"
"Like, Liet, how come we totally weren't in the story?"
"P-P-Poland!? Since when did you put that skirt on!?"
"Ah~! I wanted my sweet Romano and I to be in the story together~!"
"Like hell, you Spanish bastard!"
"Foolish Sealand; why would he refuse to become one with Russia? No matter; Brother and I will soon be married
there should've been
more cats in this story
"Perhaps, if I get Finland-san's permission, I can turn this story into an anime."
"Oh, Austria, that's so sweet of you to want to write a song for me~!"
"Everyone will eventually become one with Russia."
"Bollocks, Finland! Did you purposely leave me stranded in the desert!?"
"Je pense que tu le mérites, Angleterre!"
Finland stared in shock at how many countries had gathered in Sealand's small bedroom. How will I ever make them go home?, thought Finland exhaustedly.
Suddenly, everyone sensed an intimidating presence in the doorway. Finland looked up and saw Sweden in his nightshirt. His face was as calm and cold as it usually was, so why did it feel like he was scowling?
"Ah!" Finland spoke up. "Su-san! I
I can explain."
But, instead of responding to his "wife", Sweden just stared out into the crowd in the room.
"G't outta m'house," he said quietly, still confused. Despite his lack of volume, every country left one way or another, leaving only Finland, Sealand, and himself in the room.
Finland sighed. He looked down at Sealand to apologize for all the interruptions, but the young micronation was looking very sleepy, and his eyelids seemed heavy.
"Mama," he drawled sleepily, "What happens next?"
Finland smiled as he tucked Sealand under the covers. "Well, after the little nation had tamed the fox, he decided to go back home."
"Back to his planet with the perverted rose?" Sealand inquired, snuggling his head into his pillow.
"No," Finland answered softly, "Back to his Mama and Papa. You see, they missed him very much. Once the little nation got home, he had some hot cocoa, and went to bed."
"That's a lame ending
" Sealand mumbled, somewhat disappointed, as he drifted off to sleep at last.
Finland smiled as he got up from the foot of Sealand's bed. "Hyvää yötä," he said softly. He walked out with Sweden into the hall and lightly shut the door to Sealand's room.
"I'm sorry everyone woke you up," Finland apologized.
"Was 'lready up," Sweden mumbled. "Couldn't sleep."
"Oh," Finland said tiredly, and he yawned. At least he would go to bed at last.
"Um," the Swede spoke up. Finland groggily peered up at his spouse. "
I w's wonderin' 'f ya could t'll me a b'dtime story?"
Finland sighed and rubbed his forehead. Reluctantly, he agreed. "Alright. Which one do you want to hear?"
Sweden thought for a moment, and then looked down at Finland.
"Lord 'f th' Rings."
A/N: Don't forget to read this story's sequel!